It's My Party and I'll Take A Cracker If I Want To

'D&D' had a party with the people they work with. It was so much fun. I enjoy meeting and chatting with everyone.

They had LOTS of food there. Yummy! Esp. the crackers! Man did I love them. But the only problem was - I couldn't get any dip for the cracker (or cheese spread). Very annoying I tell you.

I just LOVE cheese - and there was a big cheese ball there. I managed to snag a cracker, but how in the world am I suppose to stick that cracker into that cheese ball! And how in the world am I suppose to pick up a 'cheese spreader', and get some cheese outta that cheese ball, and spread it on the cracker.

And do you think anyone offered to help me? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
They were too busy chatting and visiting.
Well!
At least I got a cracker.

PS: Don't tell anyone, but I touched their food when they were not looking!

That's Me!

There I am. Caught in the act! I was minding my own business, snoozing upon 'D&D' bumper pool table (they covered it of course ... can't have cat hair on it), when 'D' decided to take this picture. How annoying. Can't a kitty catch a cat nap in peace?

Well, IF only I knew how to use their digital camera! Boy could I get some good pictures. I would like to show you exactly how 'D' looks in the morning when he awakes! Talk about bed head and squinty eyes!

You would think if I can learn how to type on a keyboard, log on to the internet, and type this blog - I could surely learn how to operate a digital camera!

But I just cannot seem to hold the camera steady, look through the view finder, and press the button to take the picture.

Mmmmm, maybe I should draw a picture! That's it. I'll have to work on that and post the picture here.

The Comfort Of Throw Pillows

Well you caught me. One of my favorite places to nap ... atop the orange and green throw pillows. They are so soft and comfy! I can nap upon them for hours. And I think the contrast of those colorful pillows against my beautiful white fur is just a vision!

The only draw back is this. The orange and green 'threads' come off the pillows and get tangled within my fur. So it sort of looks like I am going for the punk look! But that is well worth the price! Trading a little bit of orange and green strings on my fur - for the comfy of the pillows doesn't bother me at all.

I Pose Therefore I Am

I have to admit, I do like this picture of myself that 'D' took back in July. 'D' caught me napping on the kitchen floor, woke me and then snapped this picture. As you can see, I do not suffer from the frightful human disease called 'Bed-Head'. (But 'D' sure does!)

I do have to say this about the months of November thru March. They are colder than the remaining months. Which is okay for this feline - I'm an inside house so I am always toasty!
But, what felines hate (especially this handsome one) is ...... (drum roll please)......................
STATIC ELECTRICITY!

I don't know how I get that darn stuff in my fur - but I do. So whenever 'D&D' touch me, or pets me - I hear this little 'snap' and I feel that 'zzzzzz' of a shock. At first, I thought that I had done something wrong - until I realized that 'D' feels the shock as well. Sometime I will just touch 'D' with my nose to smell him and 'ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ' the shock will happen.

I have heard the 'Ds' talking about this static electricity - especially when they are doing the laundry. They throw this white sheets into the dryer - and that prevents this static electricity shocking.

The question is, how do I pull one of those fabric sheets out of the box, and rub it all over myself. And do I want to! Do I want to smell like lavender, or flowers, or the outside breeze? Those sheets sort of ummmmm stink (if you want my opinion).

So, until I figure out how to de-static myself. I guess I'll go through the winter months shocking humans (and myself). I can think of better ways to 'shock' humans than static electricity - but that is another blog.

Sniff sniff - do I smell another tree of toys?

Well, 'D' was poking around in one of the rooms of the house, and I saw him open a box and inside were those shinny things that he puts on what he calls a Christmas Tree.

I remember those tree. All green with lights, and covered with all kinds of kitty toys for me to play with.

I can hardly wait until this tree is set up!

Of course I only play with the tree toys when 'D&D' are at work.

Please don't tell them.

Bumble Bees

Here is another picture 'D' took in his flower garden. I don't know what the flower is (D calls it Sedum), but I do know what bees are. These bees look a little frightening. Bumble Bees is what 'D' calls them. Bumble. What a word. What does it mean? Bumble. If you say it enough times, it sounds silly, doesn't it? I do know what a bum is. I do know what a bee is. But I don't know what a bumble is. Well, I guess a bumbling idiot, is someone who messes things up. But these bees do not look like they would mess anything up - maybe mess up a human if the bee stung one.

I think humans have too many words. The spelling of some human words are the same, but are pronounced different. And then the spelling of some human words are different, but are pronounced the same. It's so confusing to me.

I'm glad I'm a cat. We have one word. MEOW!

Pink

This is another picture 'D' took at the zoo. Some sort of lizard I think. Pink and black. A Gila Monster is what 'D' called this lizard. What a name!!! Not the Gila part, but the monster part. I think the lizard looks rather dashing - not at all like a monster.

I bet a human named this lizard a Gila Monster!

How can anything with pink, be a monster? Just look at me. I have pink ears, nose, paws ..... and I look marvelous.

And are some humans pink? Hmmmm I think there is a point that I am trying to make .... and I think you may have figured it out.

Cheers!

Candy Corn Part Two

What a day! Windy and cold. And somewhat rainy (well it was yesterday). Sort of boring at home alone all day. I napped .... played with a few toys ..... looked out the window. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Then 'D&D' came home from work .... with a package that the mail man delivered. 'D' said something like 'it's from Mary Ann.'

'D' must have known that I was staring at him, questioning who is Mary Ann. He looked at me and said "Aunt Mary Ann send some Halloween treats!"

Well, he opened the package and pulled out not one, but two bags of Halloween candy! And guess what guys ......... CANDY CORN!!!!!!!

OHHHH THANK YOU AUNT MARY ANN!

Ohhhhh 'D' will really go into a Candy Corn Coma after eating all of that! And I'll have a nice, comfy lap to sleep on!

So now I'm just patiently tapping my paw ....... waiting for 'D' to open a bag and begin his feast!

Candy Corn + 'D' = a nice nap nest!

Trick Or Treat

It's trick or treat time! Halloween. AND CANDY CORN! I do enjoy candy corn. It's candy, but not corn. I do not like corn. It's yellow and sticks to my teeth. But Candy Corn ------ yumo! It's sweet and crunchy! The crunch is sort of like dry kitty food, but maybe a bit more soft.

Don't know what is in Candy Corn, but after I eat a piece I find myself running in and out of each room, and up and down the stairs. 'D' calls me a speed demon. It's sort of funny to think about it. I'll have one little piece of Candy Corn, and I'm running around like a madcat, so full of energy. Now 'D', he can eat almost the whole bag, and what does he do? Sit in his easy chair and watch the idiot box. I don't know why it doesn't have the same effect on him. Maybe it's because he outweighs me by about 180 pounds. Or maybe because he drinks a lot of coffee; or maybe it's because he smokes, or maybe it's because he's tired. I think it's because he is in a sugar coma. Too much of a good thing. Besides, I like it when he is in that Candy Corn Coma .... I can sit and sleep on his lap for a long, long time. Nice and comfy!

So please, send all your Candy Corn to me. I'll make sure 'D' gets plenty to eat.

I think i can i think i can.

First of all, I would like to wave my paw at 'WW' for sending this picture to 'D'.

'D' showed it to me, and I thought it was puuurrrfect for my blog.

I feel like this the kitty in the picture some days. I believe you humans have felt this way too. Treading the water of life. With all that is going on in the country (recession (or depression ... depends on whom you talk to), the election, food prices, health care, etc. etc.) I do believe that most of you feel this way.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but alas I do not.

Because .......

Sometimes a wet cat is just a wet cat.

Sleep Little Kitty

Yes, there I am ..... sleeping as usual. It was a beautiful day. Almost 80. I enjoyed looking out the window, and feeling the breeze upon my face. I know that the cold months are coming, D&D broke out the jackets last week.

You may be wondering why I am sleeping upon a newspaper. Well - believe it or not, after 'D&D' read it, I decided to skim through the news. Don't know about the other kitties out there, but I am tired of reading about the presidential canidates. Sure, both canidates feel they are both qualified for the job. And yadda yadda yadda.

Because in the feline world, we do not have elections - so I find this 'running for president' thing a wee bit boring. A lot of finger pointing, name calling and mud slinging.

I really don't know who I would vote for, if I could vote.

Am I a Demokat? Or a Republicat? Or maybe a Independacat.

I think I need to ponder this for a bit longer. Hmmmm kitty treats help me think.

Now if I can only get 'D or D' to follow me downstairs to where the treats are located - I would be a happy kitty with a snack in my belly.

I'm back

Have been on vacation. Well .......... D&D have been. So I decided to take on too. So, tomorrow it will be back to the daily grind of blogging. See you then.

Fresh As A Daisy

Another picture from 'D's garden.

That's how I feel today. Fresh as a daisy. Time for a poem.

Daisy ----- By Keldan

I like the daisy, it is white.

I am white.

We are white.

The daisy and I are One.

-The End

Oh The Humanity (or Catmanity)!

I'm not really a political feline ...... but c'mon guys!

Does anyone know how much money is spent, by-for-on canidates, for an election??????
I do believe it is an obscenely amount of $$$$$.

Does one realize how much that money would come in handy for the kitties (and kiddies)???
Ohhhhhh don't get me started!!!!! Kitties and kiddies are only the tip of the iceberg!

I will never under humans! I am amazed that most of the human population isn't on the edge right now!

Okay okay okay. I've gotten off my soupbox (for the time being).

Let's get on with my kitty blog.

. Today .... I ate a bug.

The End.

Tired Today

Very short blog here, so I'll write a poem.

Tired ---- By KK Keldan

I nap I wake
I want to eat a cake.
I wake I nap
I want to find a lap.
I nap I eat
Now I feel beat.
I nap I sleep
My slumber is deep.

- the end

Hole In The Sky

'D' took this picture the other day. I call it 'Hole In The Sky'. Clouds are so interesting. 'D' says that you can see images in the clouds.

So one day, while laying in the window sill, I looked up and stared at the clouds.

Very interesting.

All the clouds looked like mice to me.

Nothing worse, that a cat stuck in a house looking out the window at a sky full of mice.

It's madness I tell you!

The Night The Lights Went Out ......

Finally - the lights are back on! We've had no power for 3 days!!!!!!

Actually, that didn't bother me at all because I spend most of my day napping. But 'D&D' sure did not like it! They couldn't cook food (lucky me my food comes out of a pouch). They couldn't watch TV or do anything that required electricity. I was a tad bit annoyed because I couldn't do my blog - but other than that - I had no problem with it.

I had to admit 'D' was a bit grouchy, maybe because 'D' didn't have his coffee/tea for a few days.

I think humans need to learn from us felines. We use our wits and imagination to entertain ourselves. We do no rely on TV, or the internet, or even electricity!

PS I am glad the TV is back on. I love it for the background noise! Helps me nap.

Oh No! Not Another Pizza Picture!

Okay guys - I'll have you know, that posting this picture was not my idea! I opposed it. A picture of me atop a pizza box has already been posted to my blog - but 'D' decided that I needed to post the other picture.

Do I have a silly look on my face or what! Anyone who has read my previous posts, know that I laid (innocently I might add) atop one of the pizza boxes because A) it was warm ... B) the pizzas smelled wonderful ... and C) I was hungry.

As you can see from this picture I am a little bit ummmmmmm excited (otherwise known as my tummy demanding some pizza). I know my tail looks a little blurred - but I was swishing it around and around showing my intense pleasure of the pizza that was about to come.

And yes, I did receive a nibble of the pizza. And it was good. And I relished every morsel!

And contrary to what 'D' thinks, pizza does not taste better the next day. In fact, I thought it tasted rather cold, stiff, ungiving, and just plain yucky! I could't believe how 'D' eats day old pizza, smacking his lips, getting that red sauce over his face!

Now hard cat food on the other hand, taste wonderful day after day, no matter how long it has been out in the bowl. And of course I have never seen 'D' eat even a morsel of my hard dry cat food. What's with that? If I can taste 'D's food, surely he can taste mine! It's only fair. Maybe 'D' is afraid that he would like it - and want it all for himself.

I wish I could operate a digital camera. I would LOVE to get a picture of 'D' lying on his back, on the sofa, watching TV, and eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream. See how he would like if I posted THAT on my blog for all the world to see.

Now I am lost - I cannot remember what I really wanted to blog about. All this talk of pizzas has gotten me a little bit hungry.

Guess I'll head downstairs to the TV room, and hopefully 'D' has left a doughnut, or a snack on the side table for me to nibble on.

Oh Brother!

Well.

Who am I suppose to complain to?

Really!

I really do not understand why Hollywood does not use the correct actor(s) in movies.

Having a woman play a cat!

I'm sure there are plenty of female felines that are unemployed in Hollywood that would have loved to play the part of Catwoman.

Well, I guess it would be a bit difficult for a human to act opposite an actual kitty cat ... and make the audience believe it.

But come on ! Who better to play a catwoman - than a cat.

I See Spots

Another one of 'D's zoo pictures. 'D' calls him a Leopard. I know that the Leopard and I are related; both of us coming from the cat family. He is pretty. I wonder why only wild cats (big game cats) are the only ones who have spots like this. I've not see a housecat with spots such as these.

I think it would be cool if I had spots like these. I could sit on a Leopard fabric colored sofa and no one would ever see me. That would be fun. I could spy and evesdrop on 'D', but it really wouldn't be spying or evesdropping because I would be in plain view! How fun would that be!

Of course I probably would be the brunt of idiotic jokes .... like 'hey Keldan - you have a spot on your fur' ... or 'D' would make a cross on me and say ' X marks the spot.'

That would be old really fast. So I think I would rather stay the pure white that I am.

Cop A Pose

This is my favorite picture of me. I had just laid down on the kitchen floor, when 'D' took this picture. I had just ate - so my belly was full and I was fighting the nap monster. I remember 'D' standing in the doorway, with that camera ... saying "smile Keldan, smile little boy".

I thought to myself 'oh get a life'. Don't you have a dishwasher to load, a carpet to vacuum, a floor to sweep. Don't you have laundry to do, furniture to dust, and most importantly A CAT LITTER BOX TO CLEAN!

Community Food

'D&D' went to visit 'D' s mother over the weekend. They were gone all day, leaving me to roam this big house all alone. I really didn't mind at all - no one to interrupt my nap time.

'D' did bring back some photos he took. 'D' showed me this one. Six kitties. Well, 5 kitties and 1 mommy kitty. Pretty bunch, don't you think? They always eat until they get their bellies full.
I don't know their names.

The kitties are lucky - having someone to play with all day long. I think I would like that. But that would mean another kitty in MY house - and that just wouldn't do at all.

Hmmmmm maybe 'D&D' could rent a kitty for a day for me to play with.

No, I'm too selfish (and proud of that), and wouldn't want 'D&D' attention taken from me.

I'm very happy and content living where I am, and with 'D&D'.

Ohhhh I think I see a fly buzzing around. Gotta go!

A Cat On A Rug

Okay. 'D' caught me snoozing on the most coolest area rug in the house. Oh I love it. Nice and soft and clean. Pretty colors (don't believe the hype - I can see colors). I do like the circles. Makes me want to climb inside them and snooze ... snooze .... snooze.

I think I look ab fab against the red color.

But .... do I look fat? Do you think red makes me look fat? I do understand that the camera adds pounds to you - yeah that's it! It's the camera! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Bald Eagle

'D' also took this picture at the zoo. He called this bird a Bald Eagle.

Doesn't look like a skin head to me.

Traveling House

Another zoo picture. A turtle. A big turtle. A huge turtle. 'D' said that the turtle moves really, really slow. He told me some story about a turtle and a hare ... yadda yadda yadda ... and the turtle won. I gather that there was a moral of the story, but during 'D's telling of the tale, I began watching a bug crawl across the floor - and .... well .... I sort of lost interest in the story and after he finished telling it - I had no idea what the moral of the story was.

Besides, if I had to carry around my house on my back, I think I would move rather slow myself.

Maybe that was the moral of the story. People who carry around houses .. move really, really slow.

Bats Man

Another zoo picture 'D' showed me. 'D' called these creatures Bats. Kinda scary looking don't you think? 'D' said that they were big, almost as large as me. I wonder what it would be like to fly. I think it would be fun. Would be a lot easier to catch birdies that way.

I can just see myself gliding around the air, checking out the people below who would be as small as ants.

And, having a little mean streak in me, I would probably fly about some human that I didn't like and I'd ...... well ...... if you think it's nasty when a birdie drops a present ... just imagine what it would be like it a kitty dropped one!

We' Off To See The Lizard .....

Another picture of 'D&D's zoo trip. 'D' decided to show me a few other pictures that he took at the zoo. I liked this one. So regal looking this lizard. 'D' said that the lizard was larger than me. I can only image! If I ran into this one, I think I would beat feet the other way, and not look back. 'D' says that the lizard eats flies. Then he said 'yuck'.

Oh foolish foolish little man. Little does he know that I have eaten a fly or two or three in my lifetime. And I lick him with the same mouth that I ate the fly with.

So now when I lick him, I laugh and grin. He think's I'm being 'cute', but the reality is I'm laughing at him because he now has fly juice on him!

Grrrrrrrrr

Ohhhh what a cute kitty cat. Actually I think it's a Bobcat. 'D&D' went to the zoo and snapped a lot of pictures. Of course they only showed me the ones of the 'wild cats'. I really would like to see all of them. You know, I don't think I'd like living in a zoo. I mean, people come by and see you, stare at you, and take pictures of you. I would think that would be annoying. But you do have a place to live, and all the food you could eat. You can live outside, or in one of the 'wildcat' shelters they have.

Hmmmmmm. I guess a zoo is like living in this house with 'D&D'. People do come by and see me, and stare at me, and take my picture. I do have a place to live, and all the food I want to eat. The only difference is that I live only inside - not outside.

The only question is .... who is the zookeeper ..... me or 'D&D'.

I think all us know the answer to that question (big kitty grin).

Yawn

Yawn. I'm one sleepy kitty. I did do some serious napping today. 'D' calls it 'sawing logs'. 'D' says that I make little noises when I sleep. Hmpf! He should talk. Sounds like he is using a chain saw when he sleeps. How can such a horrible noise come out of such a little nose!

Anyone have suggestions about how to make 'D' stop snoring?

Upside Down ... boy you turn me.

Ok guys. Humans may think this it is a good thing .... being a cat. Well, let me tell you it does have it drawbacks.

Like having someone taking your picture while you are trying to nap. So, you would look up to see what all the fuss is about - and 'click' someone takes your picture.

Can you guess what I am really thinking in this photo that 'D' took?

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I am thinking to myself ' I can see inside your nose'.

A Bee in 'D's flower garden

'D' was outside taking pictures of his flower garden; and snapped this shot of a bee feeding on one of his flowers.

I like the color of the bee. Black and yellow. But he (or she) looks a little mean. I have chased a bee or two around the house, but nothing like this one. I don't know if it's a Bumble Bee or a Carpenter Bee.

It's a stinging bee - that's all I know. I will be sure to stay away from it's hind end if I ever come across one. Hmmmm, but I wonder if it could sting me through my pretty, white fur. I know my pretty pink nose, ears, and paws would be targets for sure.

'D' says that the bees will not harm you if you do not bother them. 'D' is outside, dead-heading flowers, weeding, etc with these bees flying all about him - and he doesn't get sting.

But I'm a cat. I like to play with things. Crawling things, flying things, .... just things in general. It's in my nature. So ... yeah I would get stung in the paw for sure. I'm thankful that this particular bee is outside; and not inside. Because, there we be no way I will sit still for a moment if this bee was inside the house. I would chase it, jump for it, swat at it - and then I would get into trouble (meaning stung). Even the word sounds painful.

Time for a kitty poem.

'The Bee' By Keldan

Pretty yellow and black thing buzzing about.
Making it's circles in the air.
And there goes 'D' running and yelling,
thinking it's in his hair.
I smile my smile and grin my grin
watching this comedy of man.
'D' trips on the rake and falls to the ground
and lands on his aching can.

The End

The lesson: The bee always wins!

What A Handsome One!

Wow! I must say, I do look very handsome!
I would like to thank 'WW' for taking this wonderful picture of me! Oh what pretty eyes I have!

Everyone loves my eyes! One blue eye and one amber eye.

I was posing for 'WW. The truth be known, I am not a ham! I just happen to be very photogenic!

I could be a model. Actually I am a model. I am the model of a perfect kitty (just do not ask 'D&D' because I am sure they would dissagree).

It's A Party!

Well, 'D&D' had a pizza party of sorts at our house. A celebration of 'D's b-day as well.

But let's get back to the pizza part of the party. Well - what does arrive for the party? Eight, count them, eight boxes of pizzas.

Yum Yum Give Me Some.

And I must say, they smelled soooooooooooooo good! All that warm, yummy cheese! Made my mouth just water!

So, when all the humans were outside, eating and drinking and chatting and smoking and munching and visiting - I could not resist that cheesy smell, and made myself comfortable atop one of the still warm boxes!

I was in heaven! The box was so warm, the cheesy aroma was overpowering! And then 'D' had to ruin it all and shoo me away from the boxes.

And 'D' didn't even offer me a nibble of pizza! Well!

Just wait. Revenge is a dish best served cold! (And cold pizza isn't that bad either!).

At Ease

It's been a rather quiet day today. (YAWN).

I slept and slept and slept. 'D' took a picture of me.

I must say, I'm soooooo handsome.

Which reminds me ....

What's black and white and red all over?

Give up?

Answer: A black and white cat with a diaper rash.

Hot Hot Hot

N ever have I felt so much humidy! It is sooooo hot, that I wish that I didn't have such a pretty white coat. That's the trade off I guess. But a kitty must always look marvy, even on hot day.

I was thinking to myself; maybe I should ask 'D&D' for a fur cut. Is that silly? But ..... what if hey give me something ... like a mohawk! Now wouldn't I be a sight with a mohawk! All I would need would be a stud collar and I could become a 'punk kitty'.

And I really think that if I were to have 'D&D' cut my fur, I would like bangs. I think bangs are cool. But since I do not have fur growing down over my eyes, bangs would be out of the question.

But I must say. If I really think about it. I'm purrrfect just like I am. Sweet .... pure ... innocent.

Hide and Seek

Hey you guys ...... guess what.

I have this little game that I love to play. 'D&D' do not know it's a game (which is the funny part).

They smoke. P.U. Nasty, nasty habit! I hate cigarette smoke. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, Whenever I find one of their lighters laying around (on the counter, on the table, on the sink ... where ever), I knock them on the floor, and bat them under something. Either under the frig, the dining room table, the sofa, the chairs ... under the washer, the dryer, the pantry cupboards. I bat them under the bathroom scale, the dresser, the bed, the night stand. I even bat them down the register vents, especially the one in the entrance hall.

So I smile my kitty smile, while they look all over the house for these lighters. It is quite funny watching them looking in drawers and pockets for lighters, when I know good and well they are hidden.

Hey .... this kitty has to entertain himself somehow!

Cat Reasons

Hi there.

Well here are my reasons why it is good being a cat.

# 1 Do not have to go to work and pay taxes.
# 2 Get to sleep anytime we want to.
# 3 Humans buy us food and toys.
# 4 We don't lie.
# 5 We love with no conditions.
# 6 We can demand and get attention from our humans friends.
# 7 We can utter bad words and humans cannot understand what we are saying.
# 8 We have not nasty habits like smoking.
# 9 We will allow you to name us silly names.
# 10 We are great at playing hide and seek.

Wake up Wake up

'D&D' have this .... thing .... they call an alarm clock. Almost every morning it makes this horrible noise until 'D' shuts it off.

After a couple years of this (Okay I'm slow at some things), I realized that this device wakes them up in the morning.

They should use the alarm clock that I use. It's called my belly. It always tells me that it's breakfast time! Never fails. Always wakes me up.

So, lately, when 'D&D' alarm device goes off ..... 'D' will smack it and it grows silent. I've watched him do this a number of times. So I decided to take it upon myself, to make sure he wakes. So I jump upon the bed, inch slowly toward his face so that my whiskers almost touch him, and I MEOW loudly.

That seems to do the trick. I think it may annoy him because he swats at me with his hand (and always miss) and I jump from the bed onto the floor.

I follow him downstairs and go right to my food bowl, where he promply fills it with my breakfast.

Then he grumbles and makes his coffee.

Do I have him trained or what??

Flower

Here is a picture of a white coneflower that is growing in 'D&D's flower garden. Isn't it a pretty flower! So pretty and pure. Innocent looking plant, wouldn't you say?

You know, that flower is a lot like me. I'm white, and pretty and pure and innocent!

I like flowers. Flowers are my friend.

(Unless there is a big nasty bee on it. Yikes!).

Lazy Day

What a lazy day today. I spent most of my time napping and just being a big lazy kitty. I do enjoy sitting on the counter near the kitchen door so I can look outside.

Do you think I'm fat? 'D&D' say that I have a 'purse'. (A little pouch at my stomach). Hmmmm I don't think I have one. I think I am very handsome.

Besides, a male cat would never, ever carry a purse. Or a wallet for that matter. I have no money - just good looks!

Beautiful Dreamer

O ESDM S;ESUD S [TRYYU LOYYU LSY
O IDRF YP NR IH;U
NIY MP PMR LMPED YJOD RCVR[Y ,R
SMF O, MPY YR;;OMH SMUPMR/

Oops. I had my paws on the wrong keys Sorry.

Fireworks

'D&D' went outside to sit on the curb in front of the firestation to watch the fireworks tonight. Hmpf!!!! They didn't take me, but that's okay. I do not like loud noises anyway. So instead I sat in the entrance hall and relaxed. I found that if I close my eyes really, really tight - I can see fireworks anyway! Don't believe me? Try it.
Close your eyes really really tight - then visualize fireworks - and you'll see them.

Didn't work? Oh, it only works on cats!

Nevermind.

Relaxing

I spent the majority of the day, relaxing in the re-finished attic. 'D&D' thinks that this room is theirs. Ha! It's my big playroom.

So, there I was .... minding my own business when 'D' decided to take pictures of me. Urgh! That annoying flashing, the annoying clicking, and the annoying whirling sound! And the camera was annoying too!

So I didn't cooperate with the process at all. I sat there looking regal (my usual look). I didn't act or look cute UNTIL after 'D' took the picture. Then 'D' would say 'oh I just missed a perfect cutie cat shot!'. Then 'D' would aim the camera and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait - until 'D' became tired of waiting and he would take a picture. THEN I would stick out my tongue after he snapped the picture, and I would here him say 'oh no! I just missed another cutie cat shot!'. He he he he!!!! This little game would continue for maybe 5 or 10 minutes until he grew tired and stopped.

'D&D' are one of my favorite toys to play with!

Keldan's Thoughts

Keldan's Thoughts .... by Keldan

Have you ever looked outside and see a beetle crawling around the deck. And you wonder to yourself, 'what is that beetle thinking about?'
Does he have a wife? Does he have children? Or is he a solitary beetle, just crawling along life, waiting for something exciting to happen to him. I watch him edge his way toward the screen door. When he reaches it, he looks upward. Perhaps he sees me. Perhaps he heard a noise from above. I watch him crawl across the deck to the top of the stair. He pauses, as if to mentally judge the distance to the ground. I wonder what he is thinking? And as I ponder the thought process of this beetle - a large robin swoops down grabs him with it's beak ...... have you ever wonder to yourself 'what is that Robin thinking about?'

- The End

Cat and Mouse

Yes, cats and mice can get along.

Humans should learn from this example. I really have a hard time understanding how humans operate. And why humans spend so much of their time disliking other humans, or other beings. Doesn't that make you tired? Doesn't it waste so much of your spiritual energy?

Me? I am thankful I am a cat. I fill my days with playfulness and laughter. And my tummy with nice, tasty kitty treats and food.

World would be a much nicer place, don't you think?

So the next time you see someone who looks different, or acts different, or voices a different opinion. Just do what we cats do. Grab them, hold them, and just lick the dickens out of them!

Jokes

Question: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
Answer: A sourpuss.

Question: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Answer: Too many cheetahs.

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He sat a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change the litter box once a day.

What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.

Felix

Felix the Cat - the wonderful, wonderful cat.

I love him! He is so funny; and very, very smart. Wish I had a bag of tricks to reach into when I get into a fix.

But instead, I just 'cute' my way out of any trouble I get into. A few rolls upon the floor, a few stretches, a few paws over my eyes - and the humans melt like butter!

A Buzzing Fly

Just a simple question, mind you. This is for all of you humans out there in cyberworld.

Why does it take a number of humans to kill one, little, itty, bitty flying insect? I mean, you run around with rolled up newspapers, flyswatters, shoes, bags, magazines, brooms and mops - swinging wildly to squash some flying bug or wasp. It's rather funny to watch. I am so surprised that big ole humans, are so afraid of a flying bug, that you have to chase it around the entire house with some type of weapon, to squash it.

Me? I stalk, jump, pounce and WHAM! The deed is done.

You humans waste way too much energy!

Another Top 10 List

My Current Top 10 List of Human Food I Enjoy.

# 10 Pizza
# 09 Melted Ice Cream (pre. Vanilla)
# 08 Ranch Dressing
# 07 Doughnuts (glazed)
# 06 Swiss Cheese
# 05 Butter
# 04 Cheese Puffs
# 03 Breads
# 02 Cookies
# 01 Doritos

Heat Wave

Time for a poem.

Heat Wave .... By Keldan

The air is still - the air is hot.
I'm buring up - and do you know what?
Can't find water in where it should be.
'D' moved the bowl, oh whoa is me.

Up the stairs in search of a drink.
I spy the white, clean bathroom sink.
No water there, it does not drip.
I lost my balance, oh no I slip.

Into the toilet, the bowl I fall.
It's full of water - I'm having a ball.
Now I'm all wet - but now I'm cool.
Then I was nicknamed - the kitty bowl fool!

-the end.

It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

Well, this evening 'D&D' had a few friends over - not really a party but a get together. They were all nice - very friendly humans. And they had lots of tasty looking food. Two roasted chickens! Hmmmmm they smelled so delicious. Of course I was 'shooed' away whenever I came near the food.

I knew that all I had to do was to wait. And to plan. And to wait some more.

So when they were all outside on the deck, talking their silly humans talk - I did managed to sneak a piece of bread. Freshly cut bread. Yummy! So I became startled by a noise, and alas - the poor piece of bread landed upon the floor. Too big for me to pick up so 'D' discovered it. I didn't get a scolding, but I think they didn't like the fact that I had sneaked a piece of bread.

Kitty Life Lession # 103. Never leave evidence on the floor.

Of course they didn't know about the piece of chicken . I gobbled that down really fast.

Sometimes humans think they are so wise. But being wise doesn't always beat out being sneaky!

Mad As A Hatter

Ohhhhhhh I think I made 'D' really angry this evening. I decided to play 'hide and seek', and hide under the table. When 'D' came by, I pounced at him, and scratched his leg. I didn't mean to - I forget that I still have my claws. Ohhhhhh was 'D' angry.

I beat feet upstairs.

A little later I came downstairs, and did my "see I'm a cute kitty cause I'm rolling on the floor and batting at imaginary bugs and squinting my eyes and pulling back my ears and swishing my tail."

I got one of THOSE looks.

So I beat feet into the kitchen. I nibbled on some dry kitty food the slowly walked back into the TV room. I sat there, with my "pitiful sorry looking eyes and face and looks so sad and alone" look.

Well, THAT didn't work.

So I tried that "sneak around the corner and along side the wall and behind 'D's chair and looking up with big beautiful eyes" look.

Well, THAT didn't work.

So then I did that "quickly snapping my head toward the direction of the other room with my ears at attention and my body barely breathing" thing.

"What do you see little boy?" I heard 'D' ask.

(Insert Big Kitty Grin Here). That worked!

Last Call

Yes .... that's me. Laying down upon 'D&D's bar. I enjoying sitting up there and looking out the window. And it's soooo relaxing that sometimes I do fall asleep. I admit it. I like to hang out at the bar.

Hmmmmm just wished they served milk. And had a bartender.

Flowers

Hello.

Just a small note today. 'D&D' were home today, and we had fun playing and running and doing kitty games.

The D's worked outside a little as well, and 'D' took this picture of one of his flowers blooming.

Pretty, isn't it?

Hmmmm wonder if it taste good?

Talking to an object

I had to laugh at 'D' the other day. He was watching television; and whatever was on, inclined him to talk to the television. It was rather amusing, watching 'D' talk to an object that doesn't understand what he is saying, let alone answer him.

No wonder they call it the idiot box.

Coffee, Tea, Or Me

Well.

When 'D&D' arrive home from work, I usually am 'rolling' around upon the kitchen floor. A few times, not many, I hop up onto the counter near the door and wait for them to enter.

Now, as you can see from the picture, I am sitting next to the Tea Kettle and the Coffee Maker. While the first 'D' love Tea, the second 'D' loves coffee.

Now then .... what do you think they grab first????





A purrrrrfectly handsome kitty always wins out!

The Digger

Yes, that is me - laying upon 'D's shoes. Shoes that he wore while working in his flower garden. Oh the scents!!!!! So earthy!!!!

I would LOVE to be able to help 'D' work in his garden. I know that I would be a huge help! I can catch any stray bugs that wonder about (and perhaps get a tasty snack in the process). I could guard the garden from attack while 'D' works.

And best of all I could dig holes for 'D', so he can plant his flowers. I am a good hole digger ..... after all I do use a litter box!

Rolling

Yeah, that's me - rolling on the kitchen floor.
'D&D' think I do that because I am glad that they have returned home. But to be honest, I do that so that they will think I'm cute (which I am), and feed me.

There is only a few bad points about rolling about the kitchen floor.

Number 1. It cause my fur to create static electricity, which can not only shock 'D&D' (which is funny!), but also shock myself if I brush up against anything meta.

Number 2. Heaven forbid, if the floor is just a tad bit dirty (tracked in from outside), I tend to get my fur a wee bit dirty.

Number 3. Ummmm sometimes the floor smells like feet.

Well, a rolling kitty, gathers no moss!

Toonces The Driving Cat

Just wanted to post a link to my favorite TV star. Toonces the Driving Cat. Toonces was on Saturday Night Live.

Cut and paste the following link and enjoy!


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6649425647190160549

Attention

'D' took this picture at the beach in Florida. Pretty isn't it? I could stare at it for hours.

'D' tells me that I have I do not pay attention ... that my attention span is almost nil. Hmmmmphf!

I do not agree with his assumption of my attention abilities!

I can sit and watch a fly for hours, buzzing around the room. Now that is a great attention span.

I can sit at the window for hours, and watch all the birdies flying about outside (wondering to myself what they would taste like). Now that is a great attention span.

I can sit and watch a tiny ant, take it's hour long trip across the kitchen floor. Now that is a great attention span.

I really do not understand where 'D' gets this notion that I have a short attention span! How darn 'D' think of me that way. Why, my attention span is as long as it can possible be! How insulting! I'd like to see 'D' sit and watch a fly buzzing around for hours.

And another thing ......... oh look - a kitty toy................................................................................... .................................................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................................................................................
........... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What?

I do have a question for you.


How do you keep a human in suspense?

Isn't It Darling!!!

Isn't it Darling!

Humans have such an interesting (and sometimes bizarre) way of expressing themselves. They love to use words. And I have noticed that they use them as weapons more times than they should. But that's another blog for another day.

Well, I was listening to 'D' talking to the other 'D' a few days ago, and 'D' was repeating a conversation he heard between two ummmm what did he call them ..... oh yeah 'little ole ladies'. One of them said to the other, 'Oh my, isn't the dish just darling!'

Oh boy, did I grin from ear to ear. How can a dish be 'darling'???? I heard humans call each other 'darling'. I heard that quite a bit. But a dish????

I see a dish, my first thought, I can assure you, is NOT 'darling'. My first thought is FOOD!

"Oh look at that darling dish. It would match my darling tablecloth, along with my darling table. Which of course, matches the darling wallpaper in my darling dining room. I love my darling dining room. In fact, I love my darling house, in my darling city, in my darling state, in my darling country, in this darling world!"

Where is a baseball bat when you need one?

PS. Oh, the picture is of the Geigo mascot Gecko, sunning himself while on vacation.

Another Vacation!

Sheesh! 'D&D' went on another trip, leaving me alone. But again, that was okay because I had the house to MYSELF!

During their trip, 'D&D' stopped at a place called Niagra Falls. Oh, did 'D' ever talk about that place! I did my little kitty yawn while he talked about it.

'Big Deal!', I thought to myself. 'All that excitement over a bunch of running water.'

I changed my tune when I saw the pictures. Wow. Now that is a lot of water! It just reminds us exactly who is boss - Mother Nature.

Hmmmmm wonder where I can rent a barrel?

Gas Prices

Well, I am beginning to tire of hearing 'D&D' complain about gas prices. Everyday, I heard about it. The moaning and complaining interrupts my napping. I've heard it so much lately, that when 'D&D' complain, I can move my mouth and it looks as though I'm talking!

Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase stop!

I really do not see what the problems is.

Gas prices are rising. Big Deal!

Just go to the supermarket and buy cases of beans! They are not that expensive.

Another Poem

"Trees" By Keldan

I think that I will never see,
A poem as lovely as a tree.
A tree whose bark I like to climb,
Scurry on up, and stop on a dime.
Climb the branches, oh no I slip,
On the way down I hurt my hip.
To see my maker, I'm ready to meet,
But I'm a cat, I land on my feet.

- the end.

Yum Yum! Give Me Some!!!!

Well, apparently it is a cat's nature to hunt, ie stalk, birds. Well, it is true that our natural instinct is to hunt. A mouse here and there. Maybe a bug. Perhaps a fly or another type of flying insect. But usually you humans have a habit of thinking in your minds eye, that we stalk birds.

I've not stalked a bird. Tis true, that I do feel the urge to chase them when I see them from my window. And I have watched some of the felines in the neighborhood go after birds, but rarely do they catch them.

Well, 'D' showed me a picture of a bird he took, while in Florida. I've posted it.

WOW!!! NOW THAT IS A BIRD!!!

I bet that bird would be a pain in the butt to stalk, let along catch! Apparently it's quite tall, maybe 3 or 4 feet. I am not very good a judging things like that. But, man oh man - IF I did stalk that bird, and catch him!!

I would have enough food for breakfast, brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, midnight snack, and breakfast!!!!! Probably for a week!

In all honesty, I think the bird is very pretty and graceful! I would never harm a bird like that. As with everything ..... life is precious.

Except for a bug. I'd munch that down in a heartbeat!

Vacation

Well. 'D&D' went on a little vacation. And guess what! THEY DIDN'T TAKE ME!!!!

Man oh man was I mad. Furious!!! Really really furrrrious!

After they left, I plotted out my revenge. Hmmmmm - should I shred the curtains in the living room? Maybe use the arm of the chair for my scratching post? Perhaps use all those 'knick knacks' sitting around for kitty toys?

Ohhhhhhhhhh the possibilities were endless. I danced a dance of glee as I wondered about, looking here and there - trying to make my mind up as to what I was going to mess up.

And then it dawned on me. ALONE!

That means. IT'S ALL MINE!!! MINE! MINE! MINE!

The whole house was mine!!! I owned it all. Oh - then I did dance a dance of glee about the place. Sitting on the sofa and looking at all that was mine!!!!

I didn't have to share anything with anyone!

Then they came home! Well, so much for the peace and quite of MY home!

They did bring back a few pictures - like the one I posted.

'D' found the road sign amusing and snapped a picture of it.

You humans do indeed have a very strange sense of humor!

PS: In case you cannot read the sign in the picture. It says "Stinky Creek Road". Yeah, like I'd spend my vacation there!

Rubber Bands

My favorite new toy is called the rubber band. I really do not know what humans use them for - but they are sure neat!

I can throw them into the air pretty far (they are so light). Sometimes I will get one end of the rubber band caught with one of my claws, then I bit it and pull really hard - then WAM! It goes flying across the room.

'D' brings these rubber bands home. Sometimes he has one of them around his wrist (don't know why he is wearing one there). So I'll get into his lap, and nip at it. Sometimes I grab it with my teeth and pull - and of course I let go and it snaps against his wrist.

Ohhhhh, he doesn't like that. He usually pulls it off his wrist and flings it across the room.

That's fine with me! I get the toy all to myself that way!

Making a spectacle of oneself

You know, both 'D&D' wear glasses, you know, spectacles. I think that spectacles look rather foolish. I mean, I sure would not like to go about my business, with these pieces of glass in front of my eyes.

I wonder what they are for? They do not use them when they are sleeping. Only when they are awake.

I feel sorry for them. Imagine, having to wear pieces of glass on your face during the day. I really cannot understand the purpose. If they are wearing them to look 'cool', I've got a news flash for them. IT DOESN'T!

Maybe they use them to see ultraviolet light, or perhaps some type of x-ray vision? Beats me.

I am very thankful that they do not make me wear them.

PS: Sometimes when they are sleeping, I lick those pieces of glass. It's rather funny watching a 'just awake human', trying to clean them (insert kitty grin there).

Free at last - free at last

Well, the other day I had a wonderful experience.

When 'D&D' arrived home from work, they open the back door to the kitchen. Actually it's two doors. The steel outside door, and an inner screen/glass door. Now the inner door shuts very, very slowly.

The other day, I decided to find out exactly what is on the other side of the doors. So - I slipped through as the screen/glass door was slowly closing.

Wow! It was so spacious outside. I could feel wind!!!! I could feel the sun on my pretty fur!!!!
I could feel the warm deck wood beneath my paws!!!! I could feel ....... 'D''s big hand grab my furry body and pull me back inside!

Man - what a bummer!!!! I was so enjoying my 'freedom'.

Hmmmmm! Just wait. I'll get even for that! Hmmmm maybe I'll run around the house in the middle of the night, with my favorite chew toy in my mouth, and 'meow' until my voice becomes horse! (insert sly kitty grin here).

Another Poem

I sit upon the windowsill watching the cars pass by.
Humans on their way to work, but no, never, not I.
My life is easy, I nap and eat. Maybe I'll chase my tail.
Life is so cozy, and warm where I live ..... man have I got it made!!!

- The End.

Annual Review

Well hello there. It's time for Keldan's annual review of the human world.

ENVIRONMENT: Exceeds expectations. The human race is going green, slow but steady. Its nice to see humans begin to understand the need to protect the environment.
HUMAN RIGHTS: Below expectations. Too many people not getting involved with those who need help. Most of the fault lies with Government.
ANIMAL RIGHTS: Meets expectations. Humans are acting kinder toward animals these days. But 'meets expectations' is not acceptable. The human races should aim higher and exceed expectations in this area.

OVERALL RATING: Meets expectations. So I guess that means no day off with pay. One must be rating as exceeds expectations to qualify for that.

Shoes

Shoes. It's a funny word, isn't it? Some of the words you humans come up with are just plain nutty! Shoes. If you say it over enough times, you end up sounding like a train! So, what does a train have to do with shoes?

Absolutely nothing!

And my oh my! The world has billions and billions of shoes. And I bet there are a few of you humans out there, who own hundreds of them. And I bet there are a few of you out there who wear THE WRONG SIZE!!!!

I'm not mentioning any names, mind you. But come one! I can understand wearing a pair of shoes that are a wee bit too small - but wearing a pair of shoes that are too big? My goodness! How can you walk, wearing a pair of shoes that are too big? Wouldn't you trip, and fall down and go 'boom'?

The reason I'm blogging about shoes is quite simple. I've discovered that shoes are one of the weaknesses of humans. I mean, 'D' really was peeved when he discovered that his pair of black dress shoes, were secretly my chew toy during the day. Hmmm I didn't know 'D' could run so fast! HA! I'm faster (insert smug kitty grin here).

Hmmmmm, I wonder if they make shoes for kitties. I bet I could find some on the internet. I want Nikes.

Tulips ... Fourlips .... Whatever

Oh, 'D' was so excited today. Said that his tulips were blooming and they were early! Said that it was much too early for the tulips to be blooming. Oh boy, did I have a good laugh! Imagine, a pair of lips blooming! I've not heard of such nonsense! Even I , a very pretty cat, know that lips do not bloom.

I didn't feel so smart when he showed me the picture he took of them.

Why didn't he just say flowers??????

Humans - so simple, yet so complicated!

Sitting Pretty Part Two

Today was another wonderful spring like day. 'D&D' were off today, so they spent alot of time outside working on the yard and the flower beds. (I wonder why they are called beds? I see no pillows or covers there).

Of course I was not allow to go outside. Oh, but do I want to. Inside the house, I can only see as far as the walls, but outside, you can see forever! And that is where I want to go. So I lean against the door and peer through the window screen, looking at them.

And then, 'D' says to me .... "Oh Keldan Kitty! What are you doing? Are you enjoying looking outside? Now don't put your claws on the screen. Do you hear me???"

Does he really think I am going to answer him through the screen door? What a nut. Doesn't he realize if I speak through the screen door I will strain my voice?

That was a joke. Screen door ...... strain ..... get it?

Oh why do I waste my humor on you humans!