Rubber Bands

My favorite new toy is called the rubber band. I really do not know what humans use them for - but they are sure neat!

I can throw them into the air pretty far (they are so light). Sometimes I will get one end of the rubber band caught with one of my claws, then I bit it and pull really hard - then WAM! It goes flying across the room.

'D' brings these rubber bands home. Sometimes he has one of them around his wrist (don't know why he is wearing one there). So I'll get into his lap, and nip at it. Sometimes I grab it with my teeth and pull - and of course I let go and it snaps against his wrist.

Ohhhhh, he doesn't like that. He usually pulls it off his wrist and flings it across the room.

That's fine with me! I get the toy all to myself that way!

Making a spectacle of oneself

You know, both 'D&D' wear glasses, you know, spectacles. I think that spectacles look rather foolish. I mean, I sure would not like to go about my business, with these pieces of glass in front of my eyes.

I wonder what they are for? They do not use them when they are sleeping. Only when they are awake.

I feel sorry for them. Imagine, having to wear pieces of glass on your face during the day. I really cannot understand the purpose. If they are wearing them to look 'cool', I've got a news flash for them. IT DOESN'T!

Maybe they use them to see ultraviolet light, or perhaps some type of x-ray vision? Beats me.

I am very thankful that they do not make me wear them.

PS: Sometimes when they are sleeping, I lick those pieces of glass. It's rather funny watching a 'just awake human', trying to clean them (insert kitty grin there).

Free at last - free at last

Well, the other day I had a wonderful experience.

When 'D&D' arrived home from work, they open the back door to the kitchen. Actually it's two doors. The steel outside door, and an inner screen/glass door. Now the inner door shuts very, very slowly.

The other day, I decided to find out exactly what is on the other side of the doors. So - I slipped through as the screen/glass door was slowly closing.

Wow! It was so spacious outside. I could feel wind!!!! I could feel the sun on my pretty fur!!!!
I could feel the warm deck wood beneath my paws!!!! I could feel ....... 'D''s big hand grab my furry body and pull me back inside!

Man - what a bummer!!!! I was so enjoying my 'freedom'.

Hmmmmm! Just wait. I'll get even for that! Hmmmm maybe I'll run around the house in the middle of the night, with my favorite chew toy in my mouth, and 'meow' until my voice becomes horse! (insert sly kitty grin here).

Another Poem

I sit upon the windowsill watching the cars pass by.
Humans on their way to work, but no, never, not I.
My life is easy, I nap and eat. Maybe I'll chase my tail.
Life is so cozy, and warm where I live ..... man have I got it made!!!

- The End.

Annual Review

Well hello there. It's time for Keldan's annual review of the human world.

ENVIRONMENT: Exceeds expectations. The human race is going green, slow but steady. Its nice to see humans begin to understand the need to protect the environment.
HUMAN RIGHTS: Below expectations. Too many people not getting involved with those who need help. Most of the fault lies with Government.
ANIMAL RIGHTS: Meets expectations. Humans are acting kinder toward animals these days. But 'meets expectations' is not acceptable. The human races should aim higher and exceed expectations in this area.

OVERALL RATING: Meets expectations. So I guess that means no day off with pay. One must be rating as exceeds expectations to qualify for that.

Shoes

Shoes. It's a funny word, isn't it? Some of the words you humans come up with are just plain nutty! Shoes. If you say it over enough times, you end up sounding like a train! So, what does a train have to do with shoes?

Absolutely nothing!

And my oh my! The world has billions and billions of shoes. And I bet there are a few of you humans out there, who own hundreds of them. And I bet there are a few of you out there who wear THE WRONG SIZE!!!!

I'm not mentioning any names, mind you. But come one! I can understand wearing a pair of shoes that are a wee bit too small - but wearing a pair of shoes that are too big? My goodness! How can you walk, wearing a pair of shoes that are too big? Wouldn't you trip, and fall down and go 'boom'?

The reason I'm blogging about shoes is quite simple. I've discovered that shoes are one of the weaknesses of humans. I mean, 'D' really was peeved when he discovered that his pair of black dress shoes, were secretly my chew toy during the day. Hmmm I didn't know 'D' could run so fast! HA! I'm faster (insert smug kitty grin here).

Hmmmmm, I wonder if they make shoes for kitties. I bet I could find some on the internet. I want Nikes.

Tulips ... Fourlips .... Whatever

Oh, 'D' was so excited today. Said that his tulips were blooming and they were early! Said that it was much too early for the tulips to be blooming. Oh boy, did I have a good laugh! Imagine, a pair of lips blooming! I've not heard of such nonsense! Even I , a very pretty cat, know that lips do not bloom.

I didn't feel so smart when he showed me the picture he took of them.

Why didn't he just say flowers??????

Humans - so simple, yet so complicated!

Sitting Pretty Part Two

Today was another wonderful spring like day. 'D&D' were off today, so they spent alot of time outside working on the yard and the flower beds. (I wonder why they are called beds? I see no pillows or covers there).

Of course I was not allow to go outside. Oh, but do I want to. Inside the house, I can only see as far as the walls, but outside, you can see forever! And that is where I want to go. So I lean against the door and peer through the window screen, looking at them.

And then, 'D' says to me .... "Oh Keldan Kitty! What are you doing? Are you enjoying looking outside? Now don't put your claws on the screen. Do you hear me???"

Does he really think I am going to answer him through the screen door? What a nut. Doesn't he realize if I speak through the screen door I will strain my voice?

That was a joke. Screen door ...... strain ..... get it?

Oh why do I waste my humor on you humans!

Sitting Pretty

Oh I was just sitting pretty, upon the kitchen counter, looking out the window, minding my own business when 'D' decided to take a picture of me. Oh it made me mad. The noise of the camera snapped me out of my 'kitty day dream'.

I had spotted a tasty looking birdie outside, so inside my mind I was outside, chasing after the birdie. Oh it was so fun. The wind in my fur, the smell of dirt in the air, the warmth of the sunshine upon my pretty face. Then, that stupid camera noise awoke me from my spring-time trance.

Just wait ..... the next time 'D' is asleep, all snug in the bed, with visions of whatevers dancing in his head - I'm going to wake his butt up! See how he likes it!

A Poem

Today's blog will be a little poem.

The Snake

I'm being followed by a snake
I'm afraid for goodness' sake.
I run left, and he does too.
I do not know what I'm too do.
I run upstair and he's right near.
I'm afraid he'll bit my widdle rear.
I stop to rest I will not fail.
My oh my, it's my own tail!!!!

I feel foolish.

The end.