Time By Myself

Yesterday 'D&D' didn't have to work, but they were not home all day long. They went to visit 'D's mom and left me on my own. I hope they had a good time! I was a bit annoyed that they did not take me with them. I would like to go on a trip too!
So I pranced and played and napped all day long. I wish I knew how to use the remote control for the TV, maybe I would have watched on television. Well, to be honest, I rarely watch the TV. It's always about humans. Of course there is Animal Planet - but they rarely watch that show.
I think us felines should have our own TV channel. And our own shows. Like CSI (Cat Science Investigates), or CNN (Cats Now News), CBS (Cats Best Shows), MTV (Mouse, Treats & Vitamins), NBC (Noteworthy Brilliant Cats), CSPAN (Cat Speed Pounce And Nap) and others.
But until then, I will have to amuse myself.

Marching

I am a marcher. I love marching. It is relaxing. For those of you who do not know what marching is, I will explain it to you.

Marching is what I do when I use my front paws to push down on an object (usually 'D's lap), or a soft pillow. I push one paw down at a time, and of course my claws dig in just a little bit. 'D' calls it 'making biscuits'. I guess it is similiar to kneading dough.

Doing that, reminds me of when I was just a wee kitten, nursing on my mother. I am peaceful when I march.

In humans terms, it would be like eating chocolate - only better!

But of course, being the little stinker that I am, I will climb onto 'D's lap and march, just for the sake of watching him squirm when my little claws dig just a little too deep. I look up at him with my cat grin, to see just how far I can push him, before he tells me to stop. And if he does get a little angry, it doesn't last long .... because I'm just too darn cute!!

Coffee

Coffee. 'D' drinks it every morning, and every evening after work. I watch him pour that black liquid into a mug, add a spoonful of white granular stuff, and some milk. He really enjoys drinking it. I can see the pleasure on his face after each sip. It does appear to improve his moods. When he left the room one day, I decided to see what all the fuss way about. So I slinked over to his coffee mug, and lap at it. YUCK! That stuff is horrible! It taste like dirt. And believe you me I have tasted dirt before! How can this stuff improve someone's mood? I eat food off of the floor sometimes, and that taste a heck of a lot better than this 'coffee'.

Actually, I caughed after I tasted it. Maybe that's why they call it coffee.

Well, I really shouldn't complain or moan about what he drinks. I don't think he would like to eat my 9 Lives cat food. It's probably taste like dirt to him too.

I understand that coffee comes from a bean. Isn't a bean a vegetable? So is 'D' drinking a vegetable drink each day? Does it have vitamins? Oh, it's so confusing.

It's like a tomato. A tomato isn't a vegetable, it's a fruit.
And a coffee bean isn't a vegetable, it's a ............ heck I don't know what it is.
It grows in the dirt. Maybe that's why it tastes like dirt?

Now, you may ask yourself, where is this leading too?

Well, like most things in the humans world - it leads to absolutely nothing.

I'm just having a kitty thought about coffee.

Wrapping Paper

I love the wrapping paper that 'D&D' tore off their Christmas gifts! The paper made so much noise when they were unwrapping! And to my delight, they crunched the paper up into balls and tossed them onto the floor.
"TOYS!", my mind shouted.
Oh yes! Toys, toys, toys! I batted them about, watching them roll across the floor making their crinkling noises. I chased after them, and batted them some more. I was having so much fun.
And then it happened!
Scotch tape. A piece of the wrapping paper had scotch tape attached to it, and needless to say, one part of the tape stuck to my beautiful, white fur. I didn't realize it at first. I knew something was wrong when one of the balls of wrapping paper started following me .... slowly at first. But when I began moving faster - it moved faster. I started a slow run, and it moved faster. It was chasing me! It was alive! I had to get away. But no matter how fast I ran, or where I ran; that stupid balls of christmas wrap followed me. I was getting scared! What would happend to me if it caught me????
After a little bit of running (which felt like hours), it finally stopped chasing me. Upon closer inspection I noticed the scrotch tape. That nasty sticky stuff. The ball of paper wasn't alive after all. IT was stuck to my pretty fur, so whenever I moved it moved. I felt foolish.
I will have to get even with 'D&D'. I didn't think it was very funny, but 'D' did.
Number one rule when living with a feline. Never, EVER, piss us off. Because we can wait forever to cash in on a payback.
Hmmmmm, I wonder how 'D' would like hearing me MEOW at 3 in the morning????
Well, there is only one way to find out (insert wicked kitty grin here).

Christmas

I will not be doing an entry in my blog tomorrow, because it's Christmas Day. I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!!!!

Sounds

Today was windy. Very windy. The windows rattled, and what leaves were left on the trees rustled. When the house is quiet, everything is magnified --- every noise is ten-fold; and I catch myself jumping at every little sound.
And I find myself hearing sounds that are not there. It doesn't frighten me, just startles me.
Sounds are funny little things. I can hear sounds that 'D&D' do not hear. When I cock my head to listen, and they see that; they in turn cock their heads to listen. Sometimes I just act like I hear something, just to watch them. They are a constant source of amusement. If I do that enough times, they begin to actually believe they hear something. I just grin my cat grin, laughing to myself (disguised as purring of course), and lay my head back down for a nap. And I do not think they will catch on. I do it to them all the time. Humans can be so gullible.
And sometimes I will rise up from a nap, and stare at the window, or the door. As if something is on the other side waiting to get it. 'D&D' will, in turn, stare at whatever I am staring at - as if some bad boogie man is lurking behind the widow or door. I really chuckle over that!
Hey, I have to keep these humans on their toes, don't I?

Late Night

'D&D' didn't come home until it was almost 1 in the morning. I do not like these 'holiday' hours they work. They are always tired when they come home. I usually have to amuse myself, which sometimes is boring. Not that I am a boring cat - far from that.
I know that they have to work to make money to buy me cat food and things. I'm glad that cats do not have to have money. It's just pieces of paper or round metal things called coins. But I guess you have to have 'money' to get along in the world.
If you really think about this .... money. All it is, is paper. Just pieces of paper. It is really sort of funny how humans work and strive to get more paper - to buy things. It seems sort of silly to me. You hand the clerk at the grocery store a piece of paper and he hands you a gallon of milk.
I wonder how all of that started anyway. I find it really, really odd.
I guess it boils down to what is important. I find happiness in a warm blanket. I find happiness sitting on 'D&D's lap. I find happiness in chasing around this funny looking toy tied to a string that they pull about the floor. I don't find happiness in a piece of paper.
Well, I'm not complaining about it. I am just glad that they have to work for the pieces of paper, and not I.

Healer

'D' didn't feel well today. You know, us felines can sense these things. Call it ESP, or CESP (cat esp). The only thing I can do, is let 'D' know that I understand that he is feeling under the weather. A warm, fuzzy, kitty can do wonders for an aching body, an aching heart, and an aching soul.

I wonder if I can patent myself? Maybe create a pill of some sort. If I could I imagine I could make a millions dollars $$$$$$.

But I wouldn't do that. I enjoy helping 'D' feel better. It is a natural part of who I am, of who we cats are. We (felines) are healers. It's our gift. And it is not natural to make money from a gift.

But then again, I sure could use a new cat food bowl.

Another Poem - By Keldan

I hear a sound, seems rather near.
The sound of buzzing, is what I hear.

The flap of wings, my eyes do seek
It's a little moth. White and sleek.

In zig-zag lines, it tried to fly.
It hits the ceiling, and I wonder why.

This little moth, can't see the walls
It crashes into them, then it stalls.

I pounce to see, where it fell.
I use my nose, I find by smell.

I grin a grin, I think it's funny.
The moth is now, in my full tummy.

- The End

A.B.D.

A.B.D. Another boring day. The house is so quiet when 'D&D' are not home. No TV, no sounds of footsteps, no voices. Only the creaks and cracks that an old house makes. It took me a long time to get used to those noses.

The first time I heard them, I thought intruders were in the house. I would sneak into each and every room and look around, sniff, and discover nothing. Sometimes it would take me 4 or 5 hours to explore each room.

I realized it was just the way an old house is.

Sort of like humans.

I have hear humans talk about creaking bones and joints. Especially old humans.

Am I going to make those sounds when I am an old cat?

I hope not! It would make it very difficult to sneak up and scare 'D&D'.

Does anyone know where I can get a can of cat oil?

A Christmas Party

Saturday (12/15/07), 'D&D' had a Christmas Party for some friends they work with. I had such a good time! Some of these humans I haven't seen for a couple of years, and some of the humans were knew to me! I liked them all. All those different smells and scents. Some of them had the scent of other felines on them, others had the scent of doggies. My nose was doing overtime!

Oh, and the food! YUMO! I had the pleasure of sampling turkey, ham, cheesecake, and other types of delicious human foods!

And some of the humans played with me. I really enjoyed that!

My favorite part of the evening is when the humans began unwrapping the gifts. Oh that lovely sound of crinkled paper! To me, it was the sound of toys! I think a good time was had by all, especially me. I LOVE being the center of attention.

Of course, everyone thought I looked fabulous (which of course I do).

Hmmmm, maybe I should throw a party! Invite all the cats from the neighborhood! Wouldn't that be fun???? Hmmmmmmmm - maybe not. What if 'D&D' decided that the home needs another feline? Perish the thought!! No - that will never do. This is my home - and whether 'D&D' realizes it or not, they are my pets. Nope! This house needs no more pets - 'D&D' will do just fine!

Snowstorm

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Did you enjoy the above picture? WHAT??? You cannot see it? It's as plain as the nose on your face. I am a white cat, and I am outside playing during a snowstorm. It's a work of art I tell ya!

Music

I really do not like the sort of music 'D' listens to. It's loud, thumping, and I cannot understand a single word the singers say. Sounds like a bunch of noise to me. 'D' really seems to enjoy it. His eyes close, his head moves to and fro. I think he looks like an idiot to be honest, sitting there, bobbing to this awful sound he calls music.
I guess music to ones ear is noise to another's. What I call music is, the sound the wrapper of a slice of process cheese makes when it's peeled off. The sound of the refrid door opening. The sound of the backdoor squeeking open. The sound of hard cat food hitting the cat dish. The sound of birds that chatter outside the window. The sound of 'D&Ds' voice, each and every day.
Now, if they could make a CD of that, it would be number on one the billboard charts with a bullet.
Of course I can hear things 'D&D' cannot. I can hear them as the walk over the gravel that covered the backyard. I can hear a car door slam 1/2 a block away.
Oh, and of course, I think the whole neighborhood hears the sound when 'D&D' snore.

Short Blog

This is going to be a short blog. I am just too tired to write a long one. I had such a busy day, you know, with all the tail-chasing and napping. Just wore me out. But I did take the time to reflect about life, and what I truly enjoy. So here is a list of 5 things that I adore. (Today only. Of course tomorrow it could change)

Number 1: The Christmas Tree with the cat toys hanging from it's branches.

Number 2: Hiding under the Christmas Tree skirt, and pouncing on 'D&D' when they pass by.

Number 3: Clawing the carpet.

Number 4: Running sideways on the floor, looking like a Halloween cat.

Number 5: White powered doughnuts.

With that said, I'll sign off with a little thought for the day.

We (meaning cats) do not have 9 lives. Living in this world with all the morons - once is enough. Sure do not want to do it 8 more times.

Souls

I have heard humans on the TV, talk about whether animals have souls or not. You can't just ask us, for you would never understand our answer, because you do not speak Felinese (cat language).
Just think about it for a moment.
We love, do we not? I dearly love my human parents. I love them without conditions. No matter what mood they are in, or what is going on in the world. They have my love, and they know that. My love is unconditional.
Humans love. But sadly, sometimes there are conditions with that love. Cats are not capable of putting conditions on love.
Now back to the soul.
Any being, whether it be man, animal, vegetable or mineral, that can love (especially unconditional love) has a soul. Without a soul, one cannot love.
Hope that puts the debate to rest.

And on a lighter note .........

Last night I found a toy that I thought was long lost. Humans call this .... toilet paper. I was strolling through the human's bathroom - and there is was. Suspended from this metal curvy pole thingy. I had not see that vision for years. Imagine my joy! I snagged it with some of my claws, and pulled. It began to unroll. And unroll. And unroll. Oh what fun I had! It was like a very soft mountain falling about me. I was having a grand old time. But of course, something else peeked my interest - so I forgot all about the toilet paper.

Well, 'D' wasn't quite so amused when he discovered what I had done. And no I do not know how much toilet paper costs.

Well, this morning the toilet paper toy was gone. It was fun while it lasted. But I am sure one day, it will appear again. I will relish that day. And this time I think I bring the toilet paper toy down the stairs, through the entrance hall, and into the kitchen.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Attic

I really like the attic in my house. It is so spacious. Lots of room to play and jump and run, without getting into trouble. Actually the attic is my room. I know that 'D&D' would like to think of it as theirs, but it really isn't. It's my play room. It has some very soft pillows there, and I love to nap on them. There is only one thing I really don't care of about the room. It is those stupid ceiling fans. I find myself looking at them .... watching them. I sometimes catch my head, moving in a circle as I follow the spinning blades. Enough to make me dizzy and stagger around the room as if was a beer junkie. It's different when I spin around chasing my own tail. That is exercise (and fun). But watching those spinning blades, well its annoying. And yet I cannot stop myself from doing that. I don't want to watch them, I have too. It's in my nature. I think you humans understand that. It's like when you humans see a vehicle accident ... you don't really want to look - but you have to.

Human Politics

I heard 'D&D' talking the other day about politics. Politics. Politics. If you say it enough times, it sound silly. It's a silly word. From what I can understand, Politics is .......... mmmmmm it's hard to put into words, well kitty words. Bascially humans vote for a leader, or a law, or something of that nature. It seems 'D&D' are more chatty about electing a leader. So, humans go out and vote for whom they want to head the country. The politicians spend millions and millions of dollars to win. It all sounds really complicated to me.
I like the way we (meaning felines) do it. We hiss, growl and show our fangs and claws. Then we beat the crap out of each other, and who doesn't run away .... wins. Isn't that simple? No boring TV or newspapers ads, no back-stabbing, no twisting lies into truth .... none of that bologna. So that is how we decide who is the 'leader'. Once a feline becomes the 'leader' in that manner, all the rest of the felines go about their business, just as they had before the 'election'. And we didn't spend a single dime.
I'm not saying that the politicians should get together and beat the crap out of each other. But it WOULD be fun to watch .... don't you think? I really don't know what the answer would be so solve this politics hooey. I'm a cat. I use a litter box. Sometimes I drink from the toilet. But I do know this .... a leader is not elected. A leader is not self-righteous. A leader solves problems with unconventional thinking. A leader nurtures others. A leader offers options and does not dictate.
Hmmmm a leader sounds to me like a white fuzzy cat, with one amber eye and one blue eye (wink wink).

Black and White

D&D have to wear black clothing where they work. They make comments about wearing black all the time. Everyone there has to wear black, so that they look similair. Hmmmm, I'm not a college graduate, but that sounds like a uniform to me.
Regardless, I find it - I don't know - ironic that I am a white cat and they wear black clothes. Needless to say, my beautiful, pristine 'hair' usually (most always), ends up on their black clothes.
Oh you can hear the grumblings in the morning. And the ripping noise, as sheets are ripped off the lint roller each morning.
And believe you me! I hear about it. DUH! What do D&D expect. Cats shed. I shed. Opposites attract. White fur -------- black clothes. Maybe I should write a poem about it. Yeah! That's the ticket!

Black and White By Keldan

I stretch.
White strands of perfection float upward.
They ride the wind currants - dancing to silent music.
They dance their dance, knowing that the wind ride will end.
They see the darkness.
It calls to them.
'Come dance with me. Come dance on my dark dance floor.'
Like a moth to flame, they lite upon the darkness.
And dance their dance of joy.

"KELDAN! YOU GOT FUR ALL OVER MY WORK CLOTHES"

The End.

Up There

"What are you doing up there?"
"How did you get up there?"
"Come down off from there, do you hear me?"

These humans ask so many questions. D&D ask me these questions all the time, and it seems since November .... daily.

I want to say, "and exactly where did the both of you get your educations?"

It is simple logic. Warm air rises. It's winter time. It's colder than the summer/spring/fall months. Why do you think I am 'up there'?

Sometimes humans do not use their noggins.

Napping

Today was rather uneventful. I woke up, ate, napped. Played with a toy for a little bit, chased my tail for awhile, then napped. I run up and down the stairs a few times, explored that upstairs bedroom (thought I heard a noise), then jumped onto the bed for a nap. I looked out the window for a moment and saw this white stuff all over the place. Snow. Cold and wet snow. Then I napped. After that I played with the mail that came through the mail slot, then pranced around the kitchen counters for a little while. Then I napped. I looked at the Christmas tree, jumped up and played with the little 'cat toys' hanging on the branches, then I napped.

Do you see a pattern here?

Humans should take naps. Hey, it would be good for the earth. If you are napping, then you are not driving your vehicle. Saving gasoline. No pollution. If you napped more, maybe you humans wouldn't argue and fight so much. No more wars. You would be too busy napping. I think you humans could learn a lot from a cat.

Napping is good for the soul.

Bed Head

Ha! You should see 'D' in the morning. Talk about a scary sight!!!! He staggers around the kitchen, finally finding my morning food. As 'D' is making coffee, I quickly eat my breakfast. Hmmmmmmm it is tuna. YUMO. I find 'D' relaxing in his chair, sipping his coffee, smoking one of those nasty cigarettes, and watching the morning news on TV. I have to laugh. Talk about a bed head! His hair looks like weeds, or something, sticking every-which-way. Straw. It looks like straw!!! I just sit there and grin my cat grin. Then I laugh. I laugh right out loud. 'D' looks at me and says, "What are you meowing at? You still hungry?"

"No" I want to say to him in his language. "Go look into a mirror. That will wake you up."

I don't understand why he doesn't groom himself as he is sitting there. I groom myself all the time, making sure my 'hair' is neat, clean and in place. He just sits there, looking like he has a wheat field growing atop his head. To face the morning looking like that! Eeeeeekkkkk! So I walk away, shaking my head and laughing. Humans! I will never understand them.

Chairs

Well today I was home alone, as usual. Both D&D work, so I do spend about 10 hours a day by myself. That is okay because I am wonderful company to myself. Today in particular I was bored. I spend some time sleeping on their TV chairs. The chairs they sit in when they come home. They sit on those chairs and watch the television. I have noticed a slight difference about they chairs. When D&D are not home, the chairs are comfy - but it's not the same. You see, when they come home from work, they sit in those chairs and have their coffee and tea (and sometimes a snack); read the newspapers and watch TV. I sometimes will lay on one of their laps, and sleep. But sometimes I lay there and act as though I am sleeping. It's a ruse. I can lay there for as long as they can sit there. Because I know that one of them will have to get up (for nature will call), and once they rise from that chair - I jump onto that chair, curl up into a ball and fall asleep. The chair is so warm and comfy! They call me a chair stealer. I call it intelligence. Who wants to sleep in a cold chair?

Christmas Tree Part Two

Well! I have been getting yelled at a lot lately. All because of that Christmas Tree that D&D put up in the entrance hall. I thought it was a tree of cat toys for me, but was I ever wrong! What do they expect???? I'm a cat! It's a tree! On it's branches are shinny things! Duh! Two plus two equals four, does it not??? How would they like it if I put a brand new 56" plasma TV in the entrance hall, and every time they turned it on I yelled at them! I will NEVER understand humans...


PS: When D&D are at work, I play like crazy with than dang tree!

Newspaper

Every Sunday, D&D awake with just a little bit of eagerness. It took me about a month or so to realize that they enjoyed Sunday mornings because of the newspaper. They enjoy reading that big, bundle of newsprint. I watch as they flip threw the pages, reading here, scanning there. It seems to bring a bit of joy to them. I guess it is relaxing for them, reading the newspaper in the morning with their coffee and tea. To me, it's just a bunch of papers ... that make a great nest. I really love sleeping on it. The only drawback I can think of, is that it makes my butt smell of ink.