Keldan's Thoughts

Keldan's Thoughts .... by Keldan

Have you ever looked outside and see a beetle crawling around the deck. And you wonder to yourself, 'what is that beetle thinking about?'
Does he have a wife? Does he have children? Or is he a solitary beetle, just crawling along life, waiting for something exciting to happen to him. I watch him edge his way toward the screen door. When he reaches it, he looks upward. Perhaps he sees me. Perhaps he heard a noise from above. I watch him crawl across the deck to the top of the stair. He pauses, as if to mentally judge the distance to the ground. I wonder what he is thinking? And as I ponder the thought process of this beetle - a large robin swoops down grabs him with it's beak ...... have you ever wonder to yourself 'what is that Robin thinking about?'

- The End

Cat and Mouse

Yes, cats and mice can get along.

Humans should learn from this example. I really have a hard time understanding how humans operate. And why humans spend so much of their time disliking other humans, or other beings. Doesn't that make you tired? Doesn't it waste so much of your spiritual energy?

Me? I am thankful I am a cat. I fill my days with playfulness and laughter. And my tummy with nice, tasty kitty treats and food.

World would be a much nicer place, don't you think?

So the next time you see someone who looks different, or acts different, or voices a different opinion. Just do what we cats do. Grab them, hold them, and just lick the dickens out of them!

Jokes

Question: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?
Answer: A sourpuss.

Question: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Answer: Too many cheetahs.

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He sat a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change the litter box once a day.

What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.

Felix

Felix the Cat - the wonderful, wonderful cat.

I love him! He is so funny; and very, very smart. Wish I had a bag of tricks to reach into when I get into a fix.

But instead, I just 'cute' my way out of any trouble I get into. A few rolls upon the floor, a few stretches, a few paws over my eyes - and the humans melt like butter!

A Buzzing Fly

Just a simple question, mind you. This is for all of you humans out there in cyberworld.

Why does it take a number of humans to kill one, little, itty, bitty flying insect? I mean, you run around with rolled up newspapers, flyswatters, shoes, bags, magazines, brooms and mops - swinging wildly to squash some flying bug or wasp. It's rather funny to watch. I am so surprised that big ole humans, are so afraid of a flying bug, that you have to chase it around the entire house with some type of weapon, to squash it.

Me? I stalk, jump, pounce and WHAM! The deed is done.

You humans waste way too much energy!

Another Top 10 List

My Current Top 10 List of Human Food I Enjoy.

# 10 Pizza
# 09 Melted Ice Cream (pre. Vanilla)
# 08 Ranch Dressing
# 07 Doughnuts (glazed)
# 06 Swiss Cheese
# 05 Butter
# 04 Cheese Puffs
# 03 Breads
# 02 Cookies
# 01 Doritos

Heat Wave

Time for a poem.

Heat Wave .... By Keldan

The air is still - the air is hot.
I'm buring up - and do you know what?
Can't find water in where it should be.
'D' moved the bowl, oh whoa is me.

Up the stairs in search of a drink.
I spy the white, clean bathroom sink.
No water there, it does not drip.
I lost my balance, oh no I slip.

Into the toilet, the bowl I fall.
It's full of water - I'm having a ball.
Now I'm all wet - but now I'm cool.
Then I was nicknamed - the kitty bowl fool!

-the end.

It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

Well, this evening 'D&D' had a few friends over - not really a party but a get together. They were all nice - very friendly humans. And they had lots of tasty looking food. Two roasted chickens! Hmmmmm they smelled so delicious. Of course I was 'shooed' away whenever I came near the food.

I knew that all I had to do was to wait. And to plan. And to wait some more.

So when they were all outside on the deck, talking their silly humans talk - I did managed to sneak a piece of bread. Freshly cut bread. Yummy! So I became startled by a noise, and alas - the poor piece of bread landed upon the floor. Too big for me to pick up so 'D' discovered it. I didn't get a scolding, but I think they didn't like the fact that I had sneaked a piece of bread.

Kitty Life Lession # 103. Never leave evidence on the floor.

Of course they didn't know about the piece of chicken . I gobbled that down really fast.

Sometimes humans think they are so wise. But being wise doesn't always beat out being sneaky!

Mad As A Hatter

Ohhhhhhh I think I made 'D' really angry this evening. I decided to play 'hide and seek', and hide under the table. When 'D' came by, I pounced at him, and scratched his leg. I didn't mean to - I forget that I still have my claws. Ohhhhhh was 'D' angry.

I beat feet upstairs.

A little later I came downstairs, and did my "see I'm a cute kitty cause I'm rolling on the floor and batting at imaginary bugs and squinting my eyes and pulling back my ears and swishing my tail."

I got one of THOSE looks.

So I beat feet into the kitchen. I nibbled on some dry kitty food the slowly walked back into the TV room. I sat there, with my "pitiful sorry looking eyes and face and looks so sad and alone" look.

Well, THAT didn't work.

So I tried that "sneak around the corner and along side the wall and behind 'D's chair and looking up with big beautiful eyes" look.

Well, THAT didn't work.

So then I did that "quickly snapping my head toward the direction of the other room with my ears at attention and my body barely breathing" thing.

"What do you see little boy?" I heard 'D' ask.

(Insert Big Kitty Grin Here). That worked!

Last Call

Yes .... that's me. Laying down upon 'D&D's bar. I enjoying sitting up there and looking out the window. And it's soooo relaxing that sometimes I do fall asleep. I admit it. I like to hang out at the bar.

Hmmmmm just wished they served milk. And had a bartender.

Flowers

Hello.

Just a small note today. 'D&D' were home today, and we had fun playing and running and doing kitty games.

The D's worked outside a little as well, and 'D' took this picture of one of his flowers blooming.

Pretty, isn't it?

Hmmmm wonder if it taste good?

Talking to an object

I had to laugh at 'D' the other day. He was watching television; and whatever was on, inclined him to talk to the television. It was rather amusing, watching 'D' talk to an object that doesn't understand what he is saying, let alone answer him.

No wonder they call it the idiot box.

Coffee, Tea, Or Me

Well.

When 'D&D' arrive home from work, I usually am 'rolling' around upon the kitchen floor. A few times, not many, I hop up onto the counter near the door and wait for them to enter.

Now, as you can see from the picture, I am sitting next to the Tea Kettle and the Coffee Maker. While the first 'D' love Tea, the second 'D' loves coffee.

Now then .... what do you think they grab first????





A purrrrrfectly handsome kitty always wins out!

The Digger

Yes, that is me - laying upon 'D's shoes. Shoes that he wore while working in his flower garden. Oh the scents!!!!! So earthy!!!!

I would LOVE to be able to help 'D' work in his garden. I know that I would be a huge help! I can catch any stray bugs that wonder about (and perhaps get a tasty snack in the process). I could guard the garden from attack while 'D' works.

And best of all I could dig holes for 'D', so he can plant his flowers. I am a good hole digger ..... after all I do use a litter box!