I Pose Therefore I Am

I have to admit, I do like this picture of myself that 'D' took back in July. 'D' caught me napping on the kitchen floor, woke me and then snapped this picture. As you can see, I do not suffer from the frightful human disease called 'Bed-Head'. (But 'D' sure does!)

I do have to say this about the months of November thru March. They are colder than the remaining months. Which is okay for this feline - I'm an inside house so I am always toasty!
But, what felines hate (especially this handsome one) is ...... (drum roll please)......................
STATIC ELECTRICITY!

I don't know how I get that darn stuff in my fur - but I do. So whenever 'D&D' touch me, or pets me - I hear this little 'snap' and I feel that 'zzzzzz' of a shock. At first, I thought that I had done something wrong - until I realized that 'D' feels the shock as well. Sometime I will just touch 'D' with my nose to smell him and 'ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ' the shock will happen.

I have heard the 'Ds' talking about this static electricity - especially when they are doing the laundry. They throw this white sheets into the dryer - and that prevents this static electricity shocking.

The question is, how do I pull one of those fabric sheets out of the box, and rub it all over myself. And do I want to! Do I want to smell like lavender, or flowers, or the outside breeze? Those sheets sort of ummmmm stink (if you want my opinion).

So, until I figure out how to de-static myself. I guess I'll go through the winter months shocking humans (and myself). I can think of better ways to 'shock' humans than static electricity - but that is another blog.

Pink

This is another picture 'D' took at the zoo. Some sort of lizard I think. Pink and black. A Gila Monster is what 'D' called this lizard. What a name!!! Not the Gila part, but the monster part. I think the lizard looks rather dashing - not at all like a monster.

I bet a human named this lizard a Gila Monster!

How can anything with pink, be a monster? Just look at me. I have pink ears, nose, paws ..... and I look marvelous.

And are some humans pink? Hmmmm I think there is a point that I am trying to make .... and I think you may have figured it out.

Cheers!

I think i can i think i can.

First of all, I would like to wave my paw at 'WW' for sending this picture to 'D'.

'D' showed it to me, and I thought it was puuurrrfect for my blog.

I feel like this the kitty in the picture some days. I believe you humans have felt this way too. Treading the water of life. With all that is going on in the country (recession (or depression ... depends on whom you talk to), the election, food prices, health care, etc. etc.) I do believe that most of you feel this way.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but alas I do not.

Because .......

Sometimes a wet cat is just a wet cat.

Hole In The Sky

'D' took this picture the other day. I call it 'Hole In The Sky'. Clouds are so interesting. 'D' says that you can see images in the clouds.

So one day, while laying in the window sill, I looked up and stared at the clouds.

Very interesting.

All the clouds looked like mice to me.

Nothing worse, that a cat stuck in a house looking out the window at a sky full of mice.

It's madness I tell you!

The Night The Lights Went Out ......

Finally - the lights are back on! We've had no power for 3 days!!!!!!

Actually, that didn't bother me at all because I spend most of my day napping. But 'D&D' sure did not like it! They couldn't cook food (lucky me my food comes out of a pouch). They couldn't watch TV or do anything that required electricity. I was a tad bit annoyed because I couldn't do my blog - but other than that - I had no problem with it.

I had to admit 'D' was a bit grouchy, maybe because 'D' didn't have his coffee/tea for a few days.

I think humans need to learn from us felines. We use our wits and imagination to entertain ourselves. We do no rely on TV, or the internet, or even electricity!

PS I am glad the TV is back on. I love it for the background noise! Helps me nap.

Oh No! Not Another Pizza Picture!

Okay guys - I'll have you know, that posting this picture was not my idea! I opposed it. A picture of me atop a pizza box has already been posted to my blog - but 'D' decided that I needed to post the other picture.

Do I have a silly look on my face or what! Anyone who has read my previous posts, know that I laid (innocently I might add) atop one of the pizza boxes because A) it was warm ... B) the pizzas smelled wonderful ... and C) I was hungry.

As you can see from this picture I am a little bit ummmmmmm excited (otherwise known as my tummy demanding some pizza). I know my tail looks a little blurred - but I was swishing it around and around showing my intense pleasure of the pizza that was about to come.

And yes, I did receive a nibble of the pizza. And it was good. And I relished every morsel!

And contrary to what 'D' thinks, pizza does not taste better the next day. In fact, I thought it tasted rather cold, stiff, ungiving, and just plain yucky! I could't believe how 'D' eats day old pizza, smacking his lips, getting that red sauce over his face!

Now hard cat food on the other hand, taste wonderful day after day, no matter how long it has been out in the bowl. And of course I have never seen 'D' eat even a morsel of my hard dry cat food. What's with that? If I can taste 'D's food, surely he can taste mine! It's only fair. Maybe 'D' is afraid that he would like it - and want it all for himself.

I wish I could operate a digital camera. I would LOVE to get a picture of 'D' lying on his back, on the sofa, watching TV, and eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream. See how he would like if I posted THAT on my blog for all the world to see.

Now I am lost - I cannot remember what I really wanted to blog about. All this talk of pizzas has gotten me a little bit hungry.

Guess I'll head downstairs to the TV room, and hopefully 'D' has left a doughnut, or a snack on the side table for me to nibble on.

Oh Brother!

Well.

Who am I suppose to complain to?

Really!

I really do not understand why Hollywood does not use the correct actor(s) in movies.

Having a woman play a cat!

I'm sure there are plenty of female felines that are unemployed in Hollywood that would have loved to play the part of Catwoman.

Well, I guess it would be a bit difficult for a human to act opposite an actual kitty cat ... and make the audience believe it.

But come on ! Who better to play a catwoman - than a cat.

I See Spots

Another one of 'D's zoo pictures. 'D' calls him a Leopard. I know that the Leopard and I are related; both of us coming from the cat family. He is pretty. I wonder why only wild cats (big game cats) are the only ones who have spots like this. I've not see a housecat with spots such as these.

I think it would be cool if I had spots like these. I could sit on a Leopard fabric colored sofa and no one would ever see me. That would be fun. I could spy and evesdrop on 'D', but it really wouldn't be spying or evesdropping because I would be in plain view! How fun would that be!

Of course I probably would be the brunt of idiotic jokes .... like 'hey Keldan - you have a spot on your fur' ... or 'D' would make a cross on me and say ' X marks the spot.'

That would be old really fast. So I think I would rather stay the pure white that I am.

Community Food

'D&D' went to visit 'D' s mother over the weekend. They were gone all day, leaving me to roam this big house all alone. I really didn't mind at all - no one to interrupt my nap time.

'D' did bring back some photos he took. 'D' showed me this one. Six kitties. Well, 5 kitties and 1 mommy kitty. Pretty bunch, don't you think? They always eat until they get their bellies full.
I don't know their names.

The kitties are lucky - having someone to play with all day long. I think I would like that. But that would mean another kitty in MY house - and that just wouldn't do at all.

Hmmmmm maybe 'D&D' could rent a kitty for a day for me to play with.

No, I'm too selfish (and proud of that), and wouldn't want 'D&D' attention taken from me.

I'm very happy and content living where I am, and with 'D&D'.

Ohhhh I think I see a fly buzzing around. Gotta go!

Bats Man

Another zoo picture 'D' showed me. 'D' called these creatures Bats. Kinda scary looking don't you think? 'D' said that they were big, almost as large as me. I wonder what it would be like to fly. I think it would be fun. Would be a lot easier to catch birdies that way.

I can just see myself gliding around the air, checking out the people below who would be as small as ants.

And, having a little mean streak in me, I would probably fly about some human that I didn't like and I'd ...... well ...... if you think it's nasty when a birdie drops a present ... just imagine what it would be like it a kitty dropped one!

Fireworks

'D&D' went outside to sit on the curb in front of the firestation to watch the fireworks tonight. Hmpf!!!! They didn't take me, but that's okay. I do not like loud noises anyway. So instead I sat in the entrance hall and relaxed. I found that if I close my eyes really, really tight - I can see fireworks anyway! Don't believe me? Try it.
Close your eyes really really tight - then visualize fireworks - and you'll see them.

Didn't work? Oh, it only works on cats!

Nevermind.

Cat and Mouse

Yes, cats and mice can get along.

Humans should learn from this example. I really have a hard time understanding how humans operate. And why humans spend so much of their time disliking other humans, or other beings. Doesn't that make you tired? Doesn't it waste so much of your spiritual energy?

Me? I am thankful I am a cat. I fill my days with playfulness and laughter. And my tummy with nice, tasty kitty treats and food.

World would be a much nicer place, don't you think?

So the next time you see someone who looks different, or acts different, or voices a different opinion. Just do what we cats do. Grab them, hold them, and just lick the dickens out of them!

Talking to an object

I had to laugh at 'D' the other day. He was watching television; and whatever was on, inclined him to talk to the television. It was rather amusing, watching 'D' talk to an object that doesn't understand what he is saying, let alone answer him.

No wonder they call it the idiot box.

Rubber Bands

My favorite new toy is called the rubber band. I really do not know what humans use them for - but they are sure neat!

I can throw them into the air pretty far (they are so light). Sometimes I will get one end of the rubber band caught with one of my claws, then I bit it and pull really hard - then WAM! It goes flying across the room.

'D' brings these rubber bands home. Sometimes he has one of them around his wrist (don't know why he is wearing one there). So I'll get into his lap, and nip at it. Sometimes I grab it with my teeth and pull - and of course I let go and it snaps against his wrist.

Ohhhhh, he doesn't like that. He usually pulls it off his wrist and flings it across the room.

That's fine with me! I get the toy all to myself that way!

Making a spectacle of oneself

You know, both 'D&D' wear glasses, you know, spectacles. I think that spectacles look rather foolish. I mean, I sure would not like to go about my business, with these pieces of glass in front of my eyes.

I wonder what they are for? They do not use them when they are sleeping. Only when they are awake.

I feel sorry for them. Imagine, having to wear pieces of glass on your face during the day. I really cannot understand the purpose. If they are wearing them to look 'cool', I've got a news flash for them. IT DOESN'T!

Maybe they use them to see ultraviolet light, or perhaps some type of x-ray vision? Beats me.

I am very thankful that they do not make me wear them.

PS: Sometimes when they are sleeping, I lick those pieces of glass. It's rather funny watching a 'just awake human', trying to clean them (insert kitty grin there).

Free at last - free at last

Well, the other day I had a wonderful experience.

When 'D&D' arrived home from work, they open the back door to the kitchen. Actually it's two doors. The steel outside door, and an inner screen/glass door. Now the inner door shuts very, very slowly.

The other day, I decided to find out exactly what is on the other side of the doors. So - I slipped through as the screen/glass door was slowly closing.

Wow! It was so spacious outside. I could feel wind!!!! I could feel the sun on my pretty fur!!!!
I could feel the warm deck wood beneath my paws!!!! I could feel ....... 'D''s big hand grab my furry body and pull me back inside!

Man - what a bummer!!!! I was so enjoying my 'freedom'.

Hmmmmm! Just wait. I'll get even for that! Hmmmm maybe I'll run around the house in the middle of the night, with my favorite chew toy in my mouth, and 'meow' until my voice becomes horse! (insert sly kitty grin here).

Tulips ... Fourlips .... Whatever

Oh, 'D' was so excited today. Said that his tulips were blooming and they were early! Said that it was much too early for the tulips to be blooming. Oh boy, did I have a good laugh! Imagine, a pair of lips blooming! I've not heard of such nonsense! Even I , a very pretty cat, know that lips do not bloom.

I didn't feel so smart when he showed me the picture he took of them.

Why didn't he just say flowers??????

Humans - so simple, yet so complicated!

Sitting Pretty Part Two

Today was another wonderful spring like day. 'D&D' were off today, so they spent alot of time outside working on the yard and the flower beds. (I wonder why they are called beds? I see no pillows or covers there).

Of course I was not allow to go outside. Oh, but do I want to. Inside the house, I can only see as far as the walls, but outside, you can see forever! And that is where I want to go. So I lean against the door and peer through the window screen, looking at them.

And then, 'D' says to me .... "Oh Keldan Kitty! What are you doing? Are you enjoying looking outside? Now don't put your claws on the screen. Do you hear me???"

Does he really think I am going to answer him through the screen door? What a nut. Doesn't he realize if I speak through the screen door I will strain my voice?

That was a joke. Screen door ...... strain ..... get it?

Oh why do I waste my humor on you humans!

Sitting Pretty

Oh I was just sitting pretty, upon the kitchen counter, looking out the window, minding my own business when 'D' decided to take a picture of me. Oh it made me mad. The noise of the camera snapped me out of my 'kitty day dream'.

I had spotted a tasty looking birdie outside, so inside my mind I was outside, chasing after the birdie. Oh it was so fun. The wind in my fur, the smell of dirt in the air, the warmth of the sunshine upon my pretty face. Then, that stupid camera noise awoke me from my spring-time trance.

Just wait ..... the next time 'D' is asleep, all snug in the bed, with visions of whatevers dancing in his head - I'm going to wake his butt up! See how he likes it!

An Actor Cat

Maybe I should be an actor. Oh, I'm soooooo good at roleplaying. I can act afraid, happy,playful, and serious. Just look at the picture posted with this blog. That is my serious side. I think it looks artsy. Dapper. Intense. It's an everything photo of me at my best. Of course it could be that 'D' snapped the picture as soon as I awoke from one of my many, many needful naps.

I think I would make a great actor. I could replace Morris the Cat, who just happens to be one of my role models. Or I could be the image of the phrase "does the cat have your tongue." Or maybe even the phrase, "have you been catting around."

Hmmmmmm I wonder if they would pay me in kitty treats.